Reactive Framing vs. True Freedom: Why Building Your Own System Matters

Shreya Chaturvedi
Sep 3
4 min read

Most of us believe we are free thinkers. But if you pause and look deeper, much of what we call freedom is simply reaction. We are still defining ourselves in relation to the very systems we want to escape.

This is what psychologists call reactive framing—when your identity or choices exist primarily as a counter-response to an external frame, instead of being rooted in your own intentional system.

Let’s explore this with a few examples.

Feminism: Beyond Reaction to Patriarchy

Many women reject patriarchal norms and embrace feminism. But here lies the trap: if your choices are still defined by patriarchy—whether you rebel against its rules, flip its narratives, or live in defiance—you are not free.

Freedom is not about being the opposite of oppression. If you build your life only in reaction to patriarchy, you risk slipping into pseudo-feminism, male-hating, or unconsciously replicating harmful power dynamics.

True freedom means creating your own system—relationships, work, identity—defined by your values, not by the system you despise.

Alter Ego in Action:

Using the 10-step Alter Ego Framework, you can consciously switch modes—from being a victim of patriarchal conditioning to being a free human with clarity. Instead of reacting, you build new belief systems (Step 9), strengthen your reasoning (Step 2), and create sustainable habits (Step 7) aligned with your vision of equality.

Join our First Love Yourself(FLY) to take on this journey to your freedom.

Parenting: From Fixed Ideals to Adaptive Identities

Parenting is often taught as a set of universal rules: “Good parents do this. Bad parents don’t do that.” But every child is different.

The selflessness of a parent lies not in imposing their unfulfilled desires or rigid parenting philosophies, but in adapting to who the child truly is. That means being flexible, sometimes even abandoning your own identity as an individual to become the parent your child needs (if not 'want').

Psychologically, this requires role flexibility—the ability to hold multiple identities and switch between them fluidly. It’s not about erasing yourself, but about expanding yourself.

Alter Ego in Action:

Parents can learn to consciously shift modes—using the framework to identify intent (Step 1), craft new identities (Step 6), and embody them when needed (Step 8). For one child, you may need to be a disciplinarian; for another, a nurturer. With awareness and practice, you can expand your capacity to meet each child where they are.

Join our program, It Ends with Me to take on this journey to end your limits and be a present parent.

Career & Leadership: From Rebellion to Vision

How often do career decisions stem from rebellion? Someone grows up hearing “You must become a doctor,” so they reject medicine and choose art—not because it’s their calling, but because it’s the opposite.

Psychology calls this counter-identification—defining yourself in opposition to authority. But both compliance and rebellion are still forms of control. True freedom is choosing work that aligns with your intent, not with or against someone else’s script.

Alter Ego in Action:

Through reflective storytelling (Step 3) and critical thinking (Step 2), you can untangle rebellion from genuine desire. The framework allows you to flip from reactive decisions into purposeful ones—crafting your own professional path instead of inheriting or rebelling against one.

Join our program, Jaagrati to take on this journey that blends self-discovery with volunteering.

Relationships: Beyond Cycles of Repetition

Many people fall into familiar patterns in relationships—choosing partners who replicate childhood wounds or rebelling against them with the opposite type. Both stem from schemas—deep mental frameworks formed in early life.

Breaking free isn’t about dating someone “different from your father/mother/ex.” It’s about recognizing your schemas, healing them, and then choosing freely.

Alter Ego in Action:

The framework helps participants reflect on their evolution (Step 3), uncover limiting beliefs (Step 2 & 4), and transform their identity (Step 6-10). Instead of replaying cycles, you build conscious, free relationships.

The Psychology Behind Reactive Framing

Conditioning: We internalize systems (family, culture, patriarchy, education) early.
Rebellion: The first instinct to break free is often rebellion—still tied to the system.
Identity: Without intentional identity crafting, we oscillate between compliance and defiance.
Freedom: True freedom requires awareness, experimentation, and system-building.

The mind is comfortable in repetition, even when disguised as rebellion. To be free, you must step outside both compliance and defiance—and build a third path: your own.

Alter Ego: The Framework for True Freedom

At Alter Ego, we believe freedom isn’t found in rebellion—it’s built through design. Our programs like First Love Yourself, It Ends With Me, and Logical Love use the 10-step Alter Ego Framework to help people: