The Psychology of Power: Why We Defend It When We Have It and Resist It When We Don’t

Content Admin
Jan 7
4 min read

Power is one of the most misunderstood forces in human life.

Most people believe they oppose power.

In reality, they oppose being powerless.

From global politics to marriages, from boardrooms to family dinners, power doesn’t operate loudly. It operates psychologically — shaping what we justify, what we ignore, and what we suddenly call “values.”

This piece is not about blaming individuals or systems.

It is about understanding how power works on the human mind.

1. What Psychology Says About Power

Psychologically, power is defined as the ability to influence outcomes while being less dependent on others.

Research consistently shows that when people experience power, three things happen:

a) Reduced empathy

Studies by Dacher Keltner and Adam Galinsky show that people in power:

Are worse at reading emotions
Interrupt more
Assume their perspective is objective truth

Power doesn’t make people cruel —it makes them less aware of others.

b) Moral flexibility increases

Classic experiments like Milgram’s obedience studies and the Stanford Prison Experiment revealed that ordinary people can cause harm when:

Authority feels legitimate
Responsibility feels diffused
Actions are framed as duty or necessity

When power is justified by roles or systems, internal resistance weakens.

c) Power feels deserved

Once someone benefits from power, the mind quickly constructs explanations:

“This is earned”
“This is natural”
“This is how the system works”

Psychology calls this motivated reasoning — reasoning that protects one’s position.

2. Institutions: How Power Hides Behind Neutrality

Power rarely says, “I am powerful.”

It speaks in the language of:

Rules
Process
Law
Tradition
Institutions

So power often flows through:

Governments and courts
International bodies
Regulatory and cultural institutions

Legitimacy makes power appear neutral even when outcomes are unequal.

3. “We Support Power When It Represents Us”

Psychologically, people respond differently to power depending on identity alignment, ie, what they feel it represents them.

When power comes from:

Your country
Your group
Your beliefs
Your position in society

It usually feels like leadership, order, or something necessary.

But when the same power works against your identity, it starts to feel like force, control, or injustice.

This is not new.

This pattern appears in every society throughout history.

4. Social Identity, Hierarchy, and Power

Power also operates through social identities:

Gender
Caste
Class
Race
Nationality

Social psychology explains this through in-group and out-group dynamics.

Groups with historical or structural advantage often experience their position as:

Normal
Earned
Invisible

Over time, hierarchy feels less like power and more like “how society is.”

This is how inequality persists without constant enforcement.

5. Global Power and Familiar Patterns

At the international level, power follows the same psychological structure.

States with greater influence tend to:

Shape narratives through institutions
Frame actions as enforcement or stability
Rely on legitimacy rather than overt force

Recent global events involving major powers illustrate how acceptance of power depends less on actions and more on who performs them.

6. Why the Language Around Power Changes

Psychology shows that the way people talk about their actions often depends on how secure or vulnerable they feel.

When individuals or groups are in a strong position, they usually explain decisions using words like:

strategy
national or organisational interest
stability and order

When the same individuals or groups feel threatened or powerless, their language often shifts to:

rights
ethics
justice
equality

This change in language is not limited to governments or global politics.

The same pattern appears in workplaces, families, marriages, and social groups — wherever power is uneven.

7. Marriage and Everyday Power

Power is not limited to public systems.

In personal relationships and marriages, power appears as:

Financial independence vs dependence
Emotional availability vs withdrawal
Social backing vs isolation

Psychologists note that unequal power often produces silence before conflict — one partner adapts, avoids, or self-regulates to maintain stability.

8. Why Power Is Rarely Questioned

Power persists because it:

Reduces uncertainty
Simplifies decision-making
Benefits some while appearing neutral to others

It is most likely to be questioned when:

It shifts
It excludes
Or it becomes personally costly

Otherwise, it blends into everyday life.

9. Moving From Powerless to Powerful

Psychology shows that power is not only gained through position or resources.It is also built internally, through how individuals understand themselves and relate to others.

Identity redesign

People who feel powerless often define themselves narrowly — by role, limitation, or past outcomes.Research on identity and behaviour shows that when individuals reframe who they are, their actions change before their circumstances do.

This process, sometimes called identity redesign, involves:

Shifting from a fixed role (“this is how I am”) to an agentic one (“this is what I can influence”)
Expanding identity beyond a single label such as job, gender, family role, or social position
Acting in ways that align with a chosen identity rather than a conditioned one

Psychologically, behaviour follows identity more reliably than motivation.

Building power without domination

Power gained only through control often recreates the same imbalances it seeks to escape.

Research suggests that sustainable power comes from:

Competence and skill
Credibility built over time
The ability to regulate emotion and delay reaction
Clear boundaries rather than force

This form of power increases influence without increasing resistance.

Power that does not need constant defence

The most stable form of power is one that does not need to be repeatedly asserted.

When individuals combine:

A consciously chosen identity
Internal self-regulation
Awareness of others’ perspectives

Power shifts from something that must be protected to something that can be exercised with restraint.

Closing Thought

Psychology does not define power as moral or immoral.

It defines power as a condition that:

Alters perception
Reduces perspective-taking
Normalises advantage

From global systems to personal relationships, the same patterns repeat.

Understanding power begins with noticing how behaviour changes when advantage changes.