Why are we getting stuck in Victimhood Mindset—And What We Need Instead

The conversation around mental health has never been louder—but are we really getting better? 

Stats suggest that in India, the treatment gap for individuals with mental health issues who do not seek help ranges from 70-92%. Many resort to self-diagnosis or choose ignorance. But even for those who seek help, diagnosis does not always lead to healing—it often results in greater resentment and entitlement.

India’s Mental Health Industry is projected to grow at a CAGR of 28% till 2032. and will reach USD 62.86 billion by then. With the increasing demand, and a meagre supply of 0.9 practitioners per 100,000 people for mental health services in India, the industry has capitalized on repeated sessions, quick fixes, and short-term coping strategies. Mental health discourse has increasingly centered on coping and survival, not enough on building resilience.

The Diagnosis Trap: Are We Stuck in Labels?

Mental health awareness has brought terms like trauma, gaslighting, and narcissism into everyday conversations—but their misuse is leading to a culture of victimhood rather than empowerment. We often hear, "I have ADHD, so I can’t focus" or "I am suffering from PTSD, so I have trust issues." While acknowledging these realities is crucial, are we identifying problems to solve them, or are we wearing them as labels and accepting them as an immutable part of our identity?

Diagnosis has become personal branding. There’s a fine line between acknowledging struggles and over-identifying with them. When individuals define themselves primarily by their struggles—be it mental health conditions, past traumas, or societal oppressions—they risk adopting a victim mentality. This mindset can lead to stagnation, where the focus remains on the obstacles rather than the paths to overcome them.

Take, for example, a woman who manages a full-time job, takes care of household responsibilities, and serves as the emotional anchor for her family. Over time, she becomes so accustomed to exhaustion that it becomes a defining part of her identity. She might say things like, "I’m always tired," "If I don’t do it, no one else will," or "That’s just how life is for women."

Rather than recognizing her exhaustion as a sign to seek an equal partner, set boundaries, communicate, or seek support, she may see it as a badge of honor, proof of her strength and worth. In many cases, this mindset can prevent her from accepting help or prioritizing her own needs because she unconsciously ties her value to how much she can endure.

We are not victim-blaming here. We acknowledge crimes, racism, sexism, inequalities, and personal trauma—and wish nobody had to go through them. We are only saying: there is more to you. Find it. Work on yourself to discover your goals and dreams and get back to them. That makes you extraordinary like no amount of self-affirmation journaling can!

Being a victim of a tragedy or trauma is not in our control but living in a victimhood mindset is a choice. 

Boundaries: Protection or a Trap?

Self-love, for instance, has often been marketed as "setting boundaries to protect peace". While boundaries can be healthy and necessary, they are often used as a shield against discomfort rather than as a tool for growth.

Boundaries are like a lockdown during COVID-19. Lockdown was important so that we could come up with a vaccine, strengthen our immunity, and ultimately go back to normal life, despite the awareness that the virus is still there.  Similarly, boundaries should help us heal, adapt, solve, and re-engage with life rather than restrict us from living our lives. They are short-term (and necessary) solutions.

Growth does not happen in an environment free of discomfort; it happens when we learn to adapt and strengthen ourselves through challenges.

If you always need “safe spaces” and “like-minded people,” you are not strengthening your ability to handle discomfort or differences—you are simply avoiding them by choosing comfort. You are always one incident, one lapse away from getting triggered, and so you remain in fight-or-flight mode and continue to live in fear.

Resilience is the long-term solution in mental health. Mental resilience builds greater flexibility, adaptability, and perseverance. You will still experience distress and setbacks, involving loss or trauma, but you will not limit your identity around them. Resilience builds a mental fortitude to handle challenges and adversities. 

Coping vs. True Healing: Understanding the Difference

Don’t get me wrong—coping mechanisms and survival skills are immensely useful when you have been violated, abused, or hurt. They help you process pain, build your defense, and protect yourself. This is where therapy helps. But true healing isn't about eliminating every trigger or avoiding discomfort.

Avoidance is not self-love; it’s self-imposed fragility. It keeps us stuck in survival mode rather than helping us grow.

True healing and personal development stem from moving beyond mere survival. By adopting a growth mindset, we can reframe our experiences and view setbacks as setups for comebacks. This shift not only promotes resilience but also empowers us to take proactive steps toward our goals, rather than remaining passive creatures of our circumstances.

Resilience isn’t an alternative to therapy—it’s a complementary aspect of overall mental health pyramid. We need both coping and resilience to successfully heal. If coping is like first aid or a treatment after an accident, mindset training is the fitness regimen that ensures you don’t get injured the same way again. A strong mindset prevents many mental health disorders from occurring in the first place, overcomes stigma of seeking therapy when you need, and helps individuals transition back to life after therapy.

Moving Beyond the Victimhood Mindset

Mental health awareness has cracked the surface—we now need to go deeper. The focus must shift from merely identifying struggles to overcoming them, from temporary coping mechanisms to long-term resilience, from finding comfort in diagnosis to building an identity beyond it.

Because healing is not just about survival—it’s about coming back stronger!

We at Alter Ego Community have created a modular 10-step framework to help you build mental resilience by powering your Extraordinary with a focus on self-awareness, mindset transformation, community support, and behavioral shifts that go beyond just coping—we equip you with the tools to truly thrive in life.

Ask yourself:

• Who would you be if the setback never happened? 

• If we were to make a movie based on your life, how would the protagonist act right now for a happy ending?

Every individual has a unique story and a set of strengths. With awareness, belief, and support, it is possible to become whatever “extraordinary” means to you. 

We believe in the possibility of an Extraordinary YOU.

💙Join us in rewriting your story, as the creator of your own extraordinary journey.